2,922
edits
- Welcome to the Kancolle Wiki!
- If you have any questions regarding site content, account registration, etc., please visit the KanColle Wiki Discord
Changes
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
Line 79:
Line 79: + + + + + + + + + +
no edit summary
====Rewording and Editing====
====Rewording and Editing====
This part is mostly opinion based in terms of what grammatically makes more sense, so mostly go about this on your own.
Personally based on what we have at the moment, I would likely reword the last sentence. At the moment, it logically doesn't make as much sense since the first half of the sentence doesn't really flow into the second half. The aesthetics of the aircraft doesn't have much logical correlation to the advice of the player equipping it alongside the Reppuu. Perhaps something I would do is simply separate the two into separate sentences. Let's try that.
Given the sentence
*With its distinctly elegant silhouette being a symbol of the Ryuusei's superior performance, equipping it on your carrier alongside the Reppuu is recommended.
We can reword it as something like
*The Reppuu's distinctly elegant silhouette symbolizes the Ryuusei's superior performance. It is recommended to equip the plane alongside the Reppuu on your carriers.
This could work. However, now the issues lies in the fact that the first sentence might seem to lack purpose.
==IN CONSTRUCTION PLEASE COME BACK LATER==
==IN CONSTRUCTION PLEASE COME BACK LATER==